'LDMA's Life In The Wor Zone' Has Moved
Monday, February 14, 2005
  Bagan - foggy sunrise through palms

Bagan - foggy sunrise through palms
Originally uploaded by awfulsara.
Awesome pic shot in Myanmar
 
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Monday, April 19, 2004
 

Important Notice

Having come to the conclusion that Blogger is a lame piece of shite in comparison to the mighty, and extremely difficult to install Movable Type engine, I have just spent the last 12 hours installing, opening obscure scripts in notepad, gnashing my teeth as one thing after another doesn't work, and ultimately fighting with Blogger's ftp settings just to give me my Blogspot content an export to MT. Anyway, you can find a far sexier beast at:

http://blog.louisminson.com

Please update your blogrolls, links, and whatever, and see you over there......... In the meantime, this is my swansong post on Blogger....byeeee 
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Sunday, April 18, 2004
  Why do farang girls hate Thailand? Posts and discussion on the excellent Mango Sauce. A website seemingly dedicated to the Bangkok Farrang male, but well designed and good thoughtful articles.
Have you ever seen an ex-pat with a farang girlfriend? Me neither. Throughout Thailand, farang girls have been swapped for Thais in a manner reminiscent of the 1950’s science fiction classic Invasion of the body snatchers - "it’s some kind of pod... aaagh!" Why does this happen?
The Visa Game is a commentary on the state of affairs with regards to Thailands increasingly restrictive immigration policies. A lot of this rings true for me, but the 90 minute car ride which includes duty free shop and a full 30 seconds in Malaysia every three months on my 15 month Non-Imm-B multiple entry isn't all that bad. I feel sorry for Bangkok dwellers who live on 1 or even 3 month tourist visas.  
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  WORD SURFING An interesting site for TEFL/TESOL teachers, focussing particularly on vocabulary. 
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Saturday, April 17, 2004
 

www.louisminson.com....ahem.

Hey I just found what should be a great site in the near future. In the meantime why don't you gawp at the oh so incredibly 5 minutes effort swish effects. I'm pondering php at the moment and realising how little i know about anything.....trying to extract information out of mysql databases...arrrgghh.
Weather full-on...hot as hell. I went to Sadao border for another 30 second Malaysia visit. It was the last day I could use my 1 year visa for an extra 3 months before I have to go to Penang for another....joy! Border runs are cool cos I like going to the duty free shop. Bought a bottle of Wild Turkey Bourbon Extra Rare, very tasty and a bottle of brown Tequila, for nights when I want to get that retching buzz. 
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Friday, April 16, 2004
 

The Official Ninja Webpage: REAL Ultimate Power!!!!

This is absolutely awesome. Incredibly funny and extremely hyperactive 10 year old with a fetish for ninjas.
Ninjas can kill anyone they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
 
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Wednesday, April 14, 2004
  Advanced CSS Layouts: Step by Step - WebReference.com This splendid page has got me a little more up to speed on the seemingly undecipherable babble that is CSS, and I am now the proud owner of a great template, that is desparately in search of some content...I'll keep you updated as to it's progress.
A gentleman by the name of Filco has been cartooning his way around Thailand, this sketches are doing the photocopy rounds at the moment and as far as I know they are not online. They are pretty well observed, if a little OTT, and they certainly made me chuckle more than the "funnies" in the Bangkok Post (does ANYONE find the Wizard of Id funny?) Click on the thumbs to see the full-size pics. The Longtail to Rayley beach, Krabi. Budget beachside accommodation at Hua Hin. 
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Tuesday, April 13, 2004
  Whoops, not blogged for a few days! Naughty, naughty! Im nursing a hangover from today's Songkran festivities. For those of you not hip to Thai festivals, this is the one where you go out riding pickuptrucks like militia men and have a sometimes violent waterfight with the entire nation, a concept which for the first two hours is extremely amusing but gets boring quickly, when you've been drenched for the 30,000th time, and have talcum powder in your eyes all you want to do is sod off back home to eat fried rice and start hitting the hard liquor (which is exactly what we did!), and I'm nursing the same day hangover as we speak. Anyway, I'm off to have a shower.  
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Friday, April 09, 2004
  miscoranda: Testing Gmail Here's some positive news on G-mail, difficult to detect at the moment due to the screeches of horror at the privacy lobby, and the "um...excuse me that's our name" from some smallish British company. The more I see this service the more I want to use it. Complex yet simple, a taking of all the things that make hotmail and yahoo annoying, and ironing them out. Whatever the naysayers think, this should revolutionise e-mail access. Now if they can just over come that trademark problem. I liked this article as well - Google-opoly: The Motivation Behind Google Gmail  
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Thursday, April 08, 2004
  The Memespread Project I've been seeing this word quite a lot recently so I did a Google definition search for it and I got this. a cultural unit (an idea or value or pattern of behavior) that is passed from one generation to another by nongenetic means (as by imitation); "memes are the cultrual counterpart of genes" www.cogsci.princeton.edu/cgi-bin/webwn The link at the top of this entry is designed to be blogged as it measures the spread of memes or ideas as they flow through the blogspace. Abstract but cool. 
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  'My dad has Einstein's brain' This rather gruesome story from the Guadian. On leaving hospital after hearing about his impending death he is famously pictured below.
He left the hospital by the back entrance, poking out his tongue at the gauntlet of savvy pressmen who waited there. When the famous cheeky pose appeared in the newspapers, Einstein clipped it, penned a farewell caption and sent it to the surgeon: "To Nissen my tummy / The world my tongue."
 
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Rock Against Bush

Probably not my cup of tea, but amusing nonetheless. A collection of Punk bands including Jello Biafra, Ministry, The Offspring, Anti-Flag and Billy Bragg.  
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Wednesday, April 07, 2004
  The Songkhla Bullet I don't usually have much time for trainspotters but this is interesting This is a fascinating and rare English account of the now defunct Hat Yai to Songkhla "Bullet" Train. I drive past these now derelict tracks so regularly, that it amuses me that the nowheresville bus stop that is Ban Nam Noi once had its own railways station. The central railway station in Songkhla is now a fairly derelict nightmarket selling cheapy fried rice and currys.  
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  Google's Gmail hits trademark problem Ooops, The Reg reports that
Google's path to world domination took a turn for the worse yesterday with news that a small British company has already got the trademark for Gmail and has been using it in 80 countries.
How much is this going to cost them?  
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  Bars and Nightlife in Songkhla Well, here's an interesting post. Songkhla's getting reviews at last, and on such auspicious sites as erm... BaronBonk.com. It also bears a striking resemblence of the style of one Markoinbangkok, one of the admins on Ajarn.com It's reasonably uptodate in that it mentions the Buzzstop, but I'm not buying the shite about Aunties bar, it stuffers too much from bargirlitis for it to appeal to me. Otherwise yep it sounds like the average passing thru fallang's experience. Though have to mention Lek's Place at the end of SiSuda near the Darkside. Run by Kevin from Nottingham's wife, it now does a breakfast to easily rival both the Office and the Buzzstop as Songkhla's best. Plum tomatoes are a great touch. Down side is that you don't get toast included or a drink, though it's surroundings are much more relaxed than the mostly bar dwelling Office. Did I not mention the German's place? Ooops!  
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Monday, April 05, 2004
  Urgent message from the Buzzstop: Beautiful Jit makes the best sausages in Songkhla. 
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Sunday, April 04, 2004
  Encyclopeteia: How to Blog "Next, understand that BlogSpot is lame. Everyone with a blog knows a nerd. Damn near every nerd has web-space that he or she will loan/rent/give you. I'm one of them. Manny is one of them. Granted, blogspot isn't horrible, but let's face it, all the COOL bloggers have their own domain names and such. You do want to be COOL, don't you? " Yes ok I'm a Blogspot lamer. Am I a part of the AOL if Blogging? Is the tide turning for everything Google to not be cool anymore? Look I'll get round to it one day. I do in fact lust after those gorgeous Movable Type jobbies that Bloggers with their own dotcom own. 
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Saturday, April 03, 2004
  FREE ONLINE TYPING COURSE Apologies if this entry is brief as I'm testing out my newly discovered touch typing skills, and this much typing has just taken me about 5 minutes already.Is looking at the keys such a bad thing at this stage, or will it make all the difference in the long run? Absolutely awesome site, starts simply and gets you up and running in no time. Enough, this is starting to drive me mental.  
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Friday, April 02, 2004
  Gmail NOT a Hoax Got a bit worried when Memock commented on my excited entry about Googles forthcoming Gmail service. The hoax story arose as it was planted on April 1st. However this itself seems to be another marketing coup. It's now April 2nd and Google are still plotting the destruction of Hotmail, Yahoo, and every online storage company in the world. Here is the full story captured at Google News...where else? 
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  The Original Chorlton and the Wheelies Shrine I used to love this show, so plastic, strange, but compelling. This is a nice, cleanly done site though it doesn't have much in the way of media content. 
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  tibet by the short hairs Well here's an old perennial that just popped up in my recruiters inbox, which is exactly the same as my personal inbox, but anyway.... Meet Mr David Antonuik, who's fairly flowery page in terms of content as well as in dubious choice for background wallpaper came across as slightly different to the usual ajarn.com resume crowd. The crux of the site is that he cycled across Tibet and theres a whole bunch of fractured experiences that sound quite good when you dip into them here and there. (I did then realise that this is supposed to get you to buy the full chapters, but to be honest I liked the snippets better as a quick read!)
...the Jokhang temple ...the king marries Buddhism ...Lhasa was Rasa ...lamps that watch ...sneak on in ...flagstones ...a statuary who's who of Tibetan history and religion ...emblems of faith ...like Padmasambhava's skull ...a crowded place ...old butter ...a busy scribbler ...a boy Buddha ...history is longer than imagination ...serious prayer ...heroic singers ...abiding with injustice ...the displaced soul of ultramodern humanity ...become more like me? ...Nah, there's too many of us already ...skip to XLV if you already know art is either good or bad
Indeed! Well, David are you ever going to make it down here? 
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Thursday, April 01, 2004
 
Google announces free E-mail service!
Well, this sounds awesome. Google have announced a free e-mail service with no ads, popups, and wait for it, 1GB of space!! Makes Hotmail's offering look pretty feeble. Game on! It doesn't seem right that I'm cheering a corporation on for the conquest for the world, but you just can't help loving Google! It was our first real friend on the web. It said 'I have what you are looking for' and had that honest minimal look about it, which even with today's ads has barely diminished for me. It was the first search engine that really found what I wanted. Friends like that on the internet were unheard of at the time. The BBC's Bill Thompson is a litle more cynical. He asks "Is Google Good For You?" I currently have the deskbar installed on my windows tool bar. It is interesting that Bill points out that the underlying technology behind this has been a feature in windows for years as IE can also slot in there and show webpages in a compact format. As Bill rightly says, "Google must have a stronger brand than IE"  
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Wednesday, March 31, 2004
  Today I had one of those urges to take two random pics from my collection and merge them. Ideas like this are always liable to look twisted. Just got to wait for the right worth 1000 competition. What did you do to my seet Joyce? I've got summer class starting in a few days. It's made up of a pronounciation class every day for 90 minutes followed by a 2 hour creative arts session. It's really sodding hot here at the moment, Songkran, the hottest day of the year is just 2 weeks away.
Oh and for Tim, heres an enlarged view of Lizzie from Prisoner.  
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Tuesday, March 30, 2004
  Flickr's got a blog this button
Well hey this is funky, I'm just testing out top piccy sharing chatwotsit Flickr's new blog this button and if all goes well you'll be able to see Bart writing a slogan very dear to my heart.
bartNgoogle
Originally uploaded by LDMA.

Link to LDMA's Flickr profile Posted by LDMA from Flickr.

flickr

 
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Monday, March 29, 2004
  Ok here's the moment you've "all" been dreading. Yes LDMA is getting his holiday snaps out from Samui. Ok,ok, theres only four and their mostly landscape shots so I might even be accused of photoblogging at this rate! Ok, well here goes. First of all, here's a shot of the beach 20 metres from our bungalow. Chaweng Beach Next we have a couple of shots shot of one of natures most entertaining rock features, called Hin Yai (Grandmother Rock). It has a partner rock which thrusts more skywards about 10 metres away called Hin Ta (Grandfather Rock). Steady GrandadReally Grandmother! Finally, what tropical holiday snap showing dullard would be complete without the obligatory sunset photo (or 20). Talking Shit About A Pretty Sunset Ok hope you like them.
Whilst I'm here, more shouts out to that Man In Japan Tim for mentioning me yet again for pointing him the direction of the Blog I used to test out my Blogroll. I'm getting a feeling that he is becoming obsessed with wrestling, sumo and otherwise, as there have been no less than three references to it over the past week that I have been reading his blog. Today's wrestling related treat is a quite frightening link to one John Paul Riley a somewhat camp individual, who's minimalist home page belies his very contrasting two interests. Wrestling and Philosophy! Thanks for yet another fascinating wrestling link Tim! A disagreement over the meaning of life 
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  Ann Widdecombe - Agony Aunt Oh lordy! Doris Karloff is hardly the most sensitive soul in the world, which is why I believe the Guardian has given her own agony column, not for any kind of seriousness, but as a parody of the agony aunt in it's antithesis.
My husband left his wife and child for me eight months ago. I have two children, younger than his, from a previous relationship. Despite what I feel was a very reasonable divorce settlement, my husband still spends as much on his first child as he did before, and still gives his ex-wife additional money whenever she asks for it. It all amounts to easily as much as he spends on us, his new family. I think we should be his first priority now, especially as his ex-wife is a professional woman and has ample funds for everything she and her child might need. He wouldn't be depriving them of anything. Am I right? Name and address withheld He should have stayed with his wife as he vowed to do when he married her. You should have married and stayed with the father of your kids. Then you wouldn't be in this silly mess, where the only victims are the children. Goodnight.
Absolutely hilarious stuff! DO-RIS! DO-RIS!  
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  Welcome dear readers to another day in the Wor Zone. Today I will document my return from Samui..... AKA

The Journey From Hell

It started off ok. We got the boat from Samui to Don Sak at midday, and made our way south towards Nakhon Si Thammarat. We stopped off on the outskirts of Nakhon for some fried rice, and continued down the beach road.

Then Disaster!

We stopped at a red traffic light, and when it turned green I noticed that the engine had cut out. Starting it again I saw that the tempreture gauge was blowing through the roof, and after another 2km the engine cut out again and miraculously drifted to a halt outside a petrol station. Now this petrol station you must understand wasn't a Shell or Esso, or even a PTT. No, this was a country bumpkin independent kind of place, no fridge full of Ginsters, and certainly no radiator coolant which is what we needed. We got the bonnet open and tried to cool the engine down by flushing water through the radiator. This seemed to work for a bit, and we got underway again, but about 5 km later it was overheating again, so before it cut out we stopped, and put some more water in to cool it down. We then made it the next 5 km to the nearest small town where we found a petrol station that sold coolant. We whacked a bottle of it in which seemed to do the trick for about another 60 km, but then it started overheating in a little town called Sating Pra about 50km from Songkhla. We tried another bottle of coolant, but this time when we started back up the tempreture just kept increasing until 15 km later we ground to a complete halt again. By this time it was about 7:30 and dark. We seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, but as luck would have it again, we'd drifted outside another sticks garage, who let us have water. We'd also managed to block up a small soi, which we quickly discovered was called Soi Police because there was a police station up there. A off duty copper came down in his car and tried to help us out, finally going to find a mechanic for us, though he ended up not being able to find one. By this time Kan was none too happy, so I called the AA....erm that is not the British roadside assistance service but Ae from Coffee Mar, who leaped to our rescue and drove the 30 odd km to come and rescue us.

WHAT A STAR!

So big shouts out to Ae who towed us to a nearby garage (latest estimates are around 5000 baht (80 quid)), and took us and our stuff back to Songkhla. It seems at first analysis to be a busted piston or two on the engine but don't ask me cos I know nuffink about cars except how to make 'em go left and right and that. I think it's a fucking joke that if you break down in this country the best that you can expect is an overpriced tow away assuming that you are aware of the police help number, which we weren't. Otherwise there is no such thing as a quality roadside assitance club like the AA or RAC like in the UK. We were very lucky to even get back last night. I will say this though, Thais are very generous with their help, presumably because they know that we could be very stuck. Oh well could have been worse, though I don't need the extra expense this month!  
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Saturday, March 27, 2004
  Gritsniffer huh? Why I oughta.....why I oughta publish an old photo of the man like iSMN, purveyor of stange vibrations.
I'm off back to Songkhla tomorrow, but like the Murphys I'm not bitter. I've got 12 of the latest DVDs to what picked up for about 32 quid in total and all quality. Amongst them Return of the King, The Matrix Revolutions, Animatrix, 13, The Passion of The Christ, Master and Commander, and Lost in Translation. I also found Trainspotting out here which I have been craving to see again for ages (if you'll pardon the pun there.) So, it looks like I won't be bored for a while in my sleepy little town, but to be honest I'm getting a bit bored with the San Antonio style antics here in Chaweng. I went out the other night for a Burger King at about midnight and the streets were pure carnage. Dunno, being married has totally put me off this kind of stuff, where I'd have been totally up for it and more 4 years ago. Oh, and the tourists, it's true that ex-pats in Thailand have a real disdain for tourists whether they be backpackers, or Thomas Cook package types. Why? Because they come to Thailand and treat it as if it were a similar culture like going to Benidorm for 2 weeks. Thai culture is so different from Western culture but the tourists neither check up on this or care. The biggest example I can give is the topless sunbathing. This is not only illegal in Thailand, but grossly offensive to Thais in general. Here in Samui it is everywhere and the locals turn a blind eye, but I've seen it in Songkhla and the look that locals give says it all. Thai culture is something that we ex-pats (especially those who live outside the tourist ghettos) have learned slowly over time and are always conscious about, and the smallest things can offend Thai people, which is why seeing the uncaring crass tourism here kind of pisses me off. Kan reckons it's an example of her post-neo-colonialism, where tourists and culture and not armies are colonising traditional culture and bending it to their image. Ok rant over.....Conclusion of Koh Samui, it's pretty but I'm bored now. 
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Friday, March 26, 2004
  Aids risk 'cut by circumcision'
Men who have been circumcised may be six times less likely to contract the HIV virus than uncircumcised men, research carried out in India suggests.
Look, I'm not going to bang on about this too much, but I read this and I thought about all the idiots who have ever tried to persuade me that my circumcision (yes, I am Jewish, so it goes without saying), is somehow a form of child abuse, and that kids should have the choice of having it done when they're older....Like anyone with an ounce of sense would want their knob hacking at when they'd be of an age when they could remember it. Well, now I have the argument that my parents' choice for me has left me 6 times less likely of contracting HIV! Enough about cocks!
Got horrendously drunk last night on Pina Coladas. Yes I know, what a cliche, sitting on a tropical beach under the stars with a glass full of umbrellas and fruit. Well, it's a cliche I am perfectly happy to undertake.
I am finding I am able to hold a decent conversation in Thai now, much to the amusement of locals round here, who try me out with all sorts of questions that I seem to be able to answer in my somewhat broken Thai. I have found an excellent website for learning Thai. It teaches all the skills and uses small Flash sound files to great effect when dealing with pronunciation. Highly recommended! 
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Thursday, March 25, 2004
  Court threat to UK song swappers
The UK's record industry has issued illegal music downloaders with a warning that they must stop pirating music or face action in the courts.
It's times like these that I love being in Thailand, where open piracy is everywhere I look, in Samui at least where within 15 seconds of this internet cafe I can buy GOOD quality DVD's of all the latest movies, huge catalogues of music CDs, and Playstation 2 games, all this for pennies (ok between 100- 200 baht or 2-3 pounds). In Hatyai/Songkhla it is a lot more covert, but nevertheless pervasive. The way they operate is to just have the covers on display in little books which are generally kept out of sight. You choose your selection and an order is placed via mobile phone or a runner is sent to fetch them. Five minutes later you get your merchandise. There are occasional crackdowns by police but they rarely stem the flow for more than a week or so. It goes without saying that I have a fantastic and very current DVD selection, well, it's not like I can buy DVDs from Amazon as I have a shitty region 3 player, and it's not like there's much in the way of legit decent DVDs around for sale here, so I'm forced to buy pirate. I really don't feel bad about this. Back to the music. I am quite happy to admit that I might be considered a "serial uploader" on the basis that I share the ill-gotten gains I download off Soulseek, my client of choice for the last 18 months or so, but within the filesharing community this is what is required as a good citizen of that community, why should I consider this music just mine if I haven't paid for it. I end up deleting stuff I don't like anyway, why should I pay for something I might not like later, it makes no sense to me anymore, and besides which, music has no scarcity value for me anymore, I just don't feel I have to pay anymore. Meanwhile, is a Thai equivalent of the RIAA or BPI going to come after me? I doubt it. If they can't even control the REAL piracy on the ground then how the hell are they going to stop it in cyberspace. Bahjingjing!  
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  I turned my piss pink
"I managed to change the colour of my wee" writes Lurking Bon, "by eating a large jar of pickled beetroot. Just thought I'd share the joy. You should try it - the pink wee lasts all day."
Oh yes, just because LDMA, is sitting on one of the most beautiful islands on Earth, it doesn't mean that he doesn't have time to blog dumb shit.

A Rant on Service in Songkhla Restaurants

I have noticed that waiters here on Samui are far more intelligent and in tune with Western standards of service than in Songkhla, obviously because of the greater amounts of tourism, management training and competition for jobs. In Songkhla the list of restaurant faux pas are endless, but include: Now, many might think I am unduly whining on some of these issues.
"Why don't you just chill out? There's nothing worse than a sour-faced customer."
Well look, I'm the customer and if I am getting pissed off with somewhere it means there is something wrong with the place not with me. The solution you might say is simple, just don't go. That might work were it not for the fact that most restaurants in Songhkhla break these rules. If we were to boycott every restaurant for these reasons, then we'd go hungry (or Kan would have to cook everyday which she doesn't have time to do), so I am comforted by the standard of food which is generally good, and suffer the ignorance of the service. Kan is currently considering an education project for restaurant management, so maybe, just maybe we can bring our local restaurants upto speed on what is considered good and bad service internationally.  
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Wednesday, March 24, 2004
  Well, after a glorious 3 days of internet free heaven I thought I'd better bite the bullet and hunt down an overpriced (but broadband) internet cafe here in Chaweng Beach, Koh Samui. First of all, greetz to Tim who has the blog A Man In Japan, notable for his recent and fascinating expose of naked female sumo wrestling! Will be giving that a read over the next few weeks. He also wins the prize for first visitor to this blog who I didn't have to beg and cajole in person or via e-mail. The journey to Samui was pretty cool though I am convinced that Songkhla is the only place in Thailand where it doesn't rain or threaten to rain everyday. I have never driven through Phattalung when it hasn't been raining, I guess that's why it's one of the main agricultural centres in Southern Thailand, (or why it's not in Lonely Planet). We stopped off for lunch in Nakhon Si Thammarat (20 temples!) with one of Kan's students and her Mum, then we headed for Suratani town, where after meeting up with one of my mates off the Ajarn.com board, we checked into the poshest 5* place in town which cost us just 900 baht (about 15 quid). Lovely. Yesterday we headed for Don Sak the ferry terminus, and sailed to 'paradise'. We are staying in Chaweng Villas, the same place that we stayed on our honeymoon, it's a bit like deja-vu, but at the end of the day, we're right on the beach, it's peaceful and the bungalows are quality and not like some of the awful shacks that I've seen about, without being horrendously expensive. I have mixed feelings about Samui as a whole. Sure it's beautiful, but only if you can block out the crass backroads whicha re becoming more and more commercial everyday, there's 3 Mc Donalds, 2 Burgerkings, Tesco Lotus, Starbucks, the list just goes on. It's a far cry from the days when you could say it was a pristine paradise. Still our accommodation does allow us to block this out to a certain extent and it is a lovely place to chill out an get drunk, and yes it's good to get out of Songkhla for a bit, if only to remind myself why I like living there. Dozily I didn't bring my USB lead for my digital camera, but these cafe owners start going under when you start installing drivers and the hassle that involves anyway so I'll put some choice pics up later when I get back. Right I'm off to swim in that crystal clear, shallow, warm little bay that is Chaweng and makes all the stress of driving here worth it. Laters  
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Sunday, March 21, 2004
  OK, thought I'd better write some thing before I go to Samui (or rather Suratani) tomorrow. I came 22/40 for the Frog pic and 53/55 for the second one....hmph! Today's picture is of Irish George of The Buzzstop on Sisuda Road, Songkhla. This place is my local and is the reason that I consistently refer to Songkhla as the cooked breakfast capital of Thailand; massive portions, reasonable prices and really shit, shit jokes that you tend to hear about 10 times before George gets bored of them. (Only joking:) Irish George He does really nice burgers too, though they're so big that you have to eat them quick before they disintegrate.  
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Thursday, March 18, 2004
  I had another go on Worth 1000 They Came From The Desert See full-size. This kind of stuff could be used in future say I needed some photoshop art-work, for a portfolio later. The competition aspects give me more motivation to go deeper into the composition of the piece because I know how many of my competitors have stunning abilities. 
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
  Worth1000.com Mentioned them when I first started blogging but they're certainly worth a mention (and a permenant link on this Blog probably.) Below is my first effort for Worth1000.com, the internets most incredible archive of over 75,000 unique pieces of photoshop artwork, some of which is just stunning, much of which is surreal as anything you could envisage. Anyway I delved in with one of their beginner contests entitled 'Fountain Memorial' If you follow the above link it will take you to the competition which in 2 days will allow you to vote for my picture, though you have to register first. Frog's Revenge Please view the full-sized picture. 
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  Wired News: Honey, I Shrunk the URL Wired reports on a handy service for when you get one of those useful but unwieldly URLs that go on forever called TinyUrl.com
"The idea is indeed simple. Plug in a long URL, say the MapQuest page for the White House - http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp? country=US&countryid=250&addtohistory=&address= 1600+pennsylvania+ave&city=washington&state= DC&zipcode=&submit=Get+Map -- and you get something short and sweet -- http://tinyurl.com/37ggx. Gilbertson said he created the site because he wanted to convert postings on unicycling newsgroups into Web pages, since fewer people know their way around newsgroups than the Web. Currently, the underlying database of the site has unique IDs for 2.3 million URLs."
 
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  At the risk of repeating myself, I have just found another site which documents an era where you didn't have to be a manufactured pop act to sell records. You may remember Joyce from last week on the 10 worst album covers (which I can't be arsed to relink...scroll down godammit) BizarreRecords.com is an archive far richer, and features links to mp3 samples of these lost geniuses' work, as well as where are they now features and biographys. It's a little clunky, framey and slow loading but very rewarding to explore and has given me a good couple of wasted hours this evening. Big Hair For Jesus Ok,ok, I admit it, I love seeing this crap on my Blog and who can blame me, it certainly cheers the place up more than last nights dinner and Aaron behaving like an animal at my last party. 
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Monday, March 15, 2004
  Illegal-art.org I think I've found this site before before I got into blogging but I'll stick it up anyway. A lot of very good banned artwork (banned mainly because most of the stuff I saw uses corporate images to make its usually political point.) Speaking of dodgy artwork, here's my latest effort. Slippery Rick at that punchbowl again.  
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  Whoohoo, that's it....free for 2 weeks, til my summer classes start on April 2nd, and then it's mostly Blue Peter style "makes". Here's one I made earlier-tastic. Kan just made me a really nice, creative dinner, and I'd thought i'd share it with you, (virtually anyway!) Yum From the top and clockwise thereafter: A spicey sardine and grated green mango salad in a tomato sauce with shallots and hot chillies, stir-fried prawns with peppers and onions in a mild chilli paste sauce, and stirfried Brussel sprouts in oyster sauce. Arroy arroy! It's funny what being in SE Asia does to your memory, I could have sworn that 2 1/2 years ago, I hated sprouts, but seeing them for the first time in Tesco Lotus over here gave me an instant urge to buy them. I gotta say that they taste a lot better stir-fried than boiled to death with meat and 2 veg.  
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Friday, March 12, 2004
  I just found an excellent ESL Blog called An English as a second language blog - ESL blog: TEFL career? The discussion on this link regards a certain Daily Telegraph rant regarding those who choose TEFL as a career.
The job is tedious, the salary appalling and the prospects nil. Sebastian Cresswell-Turner laments that 'no one with a scrap of ambition' would choose to teach English as a foreign language
Utter, utter crap. This article completely generalises the proffession. Sure you get losers like this, who think that just because THEY (or their loser friends quoted) never made it, that no-one else can. It also takes the view that teachers are treated the same the world over, and that every TEFL teacher works for a cowboy language school. I get very fed up with this attitude. It is clear that this guy wanted an easy life living abroad, didn't get it and came back home with his tail between his legs to whine to the Torygraph. 
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  Well it's not often I can say this, (so I'll say it cos I can), but I had a truly delightful class today and yesterday. You may remember my earlier displeasure with the fact that we have been given summer classes at a time when I'm more planning to sod off to Koh Samui. Well, actually it's not been that bad at all, with most of the sullen faces I ususally have to teach absent and replaced with a small gaggle of the more intelligent and thoughtful students in fairly small class sizes. I'm really like teaching the M4-5 class which varies in size from 6-10 people. Youth Guides It's the kind of class you can really get your fancy lesson plan ideas out, you know, the ones in those expensive Cambridge University Press speaking activity books you bought (or the not so expensive books you photocopied). The ones which sound really interesting were it not for the fact that every one is doomed to fail in the average Thai highschool classroom. The reason being that firstly, the class sizes are way to big to control the activity well, ie give conversaton prompts or just plain ensuring that everyone is speaking the target language and not L1 (that's English and Thai to non-TEFLese speakers). The other problem is the complete lack in these books of pre-intermediate activities that these books contain. Keep Talking by Friederike Klippel (Author), Penny Ur (Editor) is a prime example of this. I have been using this book all week with my M4-5s, and it's been working like a dream. The speaking activities are creating some fascinating conversations and the kids are all leaving with smiles on their faces, but the problem is that this fatasy world I'm currently living won't live past those heady, glorious (and waaay too humid) days of summer. The reason for this is because these intermediate level activities assume that that the student has the vocab to initiate a conversation to the extent that the activity requires, and that secondly they actually want to do anything but sit at the back of the classroom and pick their nose. It also has next to nothing for pre-intermediate level students and only a couple of activities for elementary students. The class size issue coupled with this makes meaningful speaking classes a struggle. The best I can hope for in everyday class life is to find the lowest possible denominator and try to ensure that as many of the class can join in on stuff that maybe the cleverer kids will roll their eyes in frustration at, with the only time they get to show their potential is when they are isolated from their dozy peers, and not shy about really showing what they can do as with the recent Youth Guides day when about 15 kids (many are in the group I am teaching at the moment) took some Japanese short-term teaching voulenteers around Songkhla province with commentary from the students. We all had a great day out, and the kids confidence in speaking English can only grow as a result of activities like these. So this is why it is nice to see a very cozy small class full of the school whizz kids. My contract is up on Monday which will be my last day with these kids but I'll be teaching their class next semester (all 40 of them!). I'm hoping it will be a class where I can raise this common denominator for a change.  
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Wednesday, March 10, 2004
  Ok well it seems that the awesome little Flash games I've bee cooing over all day are made by a single genius by the name of Chris Manuel. Millions more utterly fantastic and hilarious games over at B3TA. Please do play What's New Pussy Cat? I have been almost crying with laughter as I played it. 
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  An utterly fascinating absoarbing and original set of mind games all following on the same theme that being to use fairly standard mind or concentration games and add surreal extra annoyances. Quality from Channel 4.Distraction 
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  Just been playing on Flickr.com, where they've managed a save to hard drive function for their pictures rather than the ridiculous print screen method one had to endure previously. This photo is one I found there that should have been included in The Top 10 Worst Album Covers of All-Time

Surely Not!

That's not to say that the ones that did merit the top 10 are quite, quite deserving, such as number 8, the lovely Joyce pictured below.

Joyce

“Oh, what should I wear?”
“Something with rainbow colors, or whatever you have on. I don’t know what the background is going to be. Those faggots from the 12 top hits album are using the fake living room.”
“Great! I just got new glasses. I think they make my head look less human.”

"err…good. Wear them. Bring a flower or something…to…accentuate your cheekbones”

“*giggle* okay, handsome, I’ll be right over.”


..and joy...theres another link of equally disturbing fare here  
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Tuesday, March 09, 2004
  Today, me sending a big shout out to my man Ae AKA Rice Pouch AKA Uncle Ben, proprieter of Songkhla's finest coffee drinking establishment, Coffee Mar. I particularly recommend the Cafe Con Parma, a double expresso topped with whipped cream and cinnamon. Also worthy of mention is the strwberry cheese cake (good ones being soo rare in this part of the world.), and his near legendary Croissant Puddings. Also is the man behind all the Thaiphoon design, decor and all-round Thai-speaking that needed doing.

A few scream for Ae. 
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  Well, here goes with another set of pristine islands about to be sentenced to Lonely Planet-style doom. Still it increases the holiday options somewhat and it's not that far from me, lets hope these islands handle the increased tourism wisely and don't turn these islands into a Koh Phi-phi style freakshow.
Thai airline to open up Andamans with first charter flights.

nice

Currently accessable through India only, the islands traffic has been restricted up until now to national operators..

One of the world's last outposts of virgin rain forest islands, the Andaman & Nicobar Islands are a string of 300 odd islands in the Bay Of Bengal. Remote, not easily accessible, it has been preserved the way it had evolved, still inhabited by tribes considered to be the oldest living communities in the world. A fantasy world of silver sands, clear blue seas, coral reefs, swaying palms, tropical forests, volcanic mountains and a gently undulating landscape. Boasting of an idyllic landscape and immense natural attractions, it is one of the popular tourist destinations in the country.
 
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  It was the Jews that first espoused this most ancient of truths that the prawn is an abomination unto God, so therefore should not be consumed. Now it seems that the fundaMentalist Yank Xians are getting in on the act.

Unkosher

God Hates Shrimp

Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.


Damn I sinned last night at that seafood restaurant!


Yes I know it's a parody. 
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Monday, March 08, 2004
  Did you ever wonder why the power on switch on every electrical device you own is always the same, and just what the hell does it mean. Some intelligent people with way too much time on their hands discuss.
BeatnikPad Journal: The Power On Icon 
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Sunday, March 07, 2004
  This riddle puzzled me when I heard it a few years a go when i heard it and NO-ONE seemed to know the answer to it. Well here it is thanks to the very interesting Riddlenut site
"Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is."

The GRY Riddle Solved!
 
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Friday, March 05, 2004
  Thought this article would be yet another slagging off of teaching English in Thailand, but it's not, very pro-teacher but don't slack off. This article from the excellent TEFL Asia

Is TEFL Teaching Just a Doss Option? - Robert Crowe

"Must be better than sitting on a deckchair in Bognor Regis modelling the latest in handkerchief adornments for the head and nursing a warm beer."

 
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Thursday, March 04, 2004
  Hmmm, so I get to the end of semester and I'm thinking ahhh, no work, Koh Samui, and drinking cocktails, when this morning the bombshell gets dropped that the school want us to do summer courses till the end of March. Wasn't happy. Fortunately I remembered my contract mentioned something about paid holidays, and I rushed to get it and lo and behold there was the offending clause. Boss didn't like that but as a contract's a contract and she wants me back next semester, so she couldn't argue, only to say that this clause would be removed in future contracts. THe problem was that they couldn't be bothered to write their own contract and borrowed the one from my wife's University. University have 12 month contracts, our school has 10 month contracts so the theory goes that we have our holidays unpaid, but thanks to this over sight I have 2 weeks paid plus the unpaid month in April. Sweet.
The School Yard 
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  I really cannot believe I just wasted 4 minutes of my life at this site, but the thrill I got from knowing that I did better than 42.4% of people was interesting. I wonder who actually sits on this all day.
HoldTheButton.com - How Long Can You Hold It? 
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Tuesday, March 02, 2004
  Here's one of those 'I'm a jaded TEFL teacher' sites in a similar vein to the great Simon Barnes' I hate Teaching English. This isn't half as proffessional or funny as that long lost site, but the Teechurz Tipz are pretty good and ring true to some extent. I shouldn't laugh but I do.Check out English Teacher X 
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Monday, March 01, 2004
  Yay, Photo Bucket has re-appeared, and it still has ALL my silly pic uploads like this. Screw UPL. LDMA 
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  I have previously waxed lyrrical about the very splendid Grey album, a mash-up between the lyrics of JayZ's Black Album and the Beatles' White Album. Ok so it's possibly not the greatest album ever written, remixed or whatever, despite 99 Problems, which is awesome. What's making this one of the most important albums of the year is the fact that hundreds of websites are all hosting this album tomorrow after EMI ignominiously sent cease and desist letters banning it's sale.Grey Tuesdayis the site that seems to be organising it, though it's possibly an offshoot of Downhill Battle, music activists, and all-round fuck the riaa good eggs. Meanwhile the BBC has this report on the persistent saga of the Grey album 
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Friday, February 27, 2004
  Method Man and Redman, two of my favourite hip hop artists are reportedly making a sitcom for Fox. It is being described as "a kind of edgier take on 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' theme".
meth and redman
Full story at BILLBOARD. Can't Wait 
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Thursday, February 26, 2004
  Ok so whilst I'm banging on about Google today, and lets face it, who isn't, check out Wireds excellent and very comprehensive guide to Google.. Catchily titled The Complete Guide to Googlemania! 
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  Eeh the things you can do with Google these days. I wonder how long it will be before Google hating will be as popular as AOL or Microsoft hating. The upcoming stock exchange float may be a good point as any to begin the speculation. Nothing stays THIS popular forever. For now try this out. It's a google search which adds a random word to make your results more interesting. It's name? BananaSlug 
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  Asian people love our fair language, don't they? I guess so, because teaching it seems to keeps me in sticky rice. This site is all about inappropriate uses of English on mostly Japanese products.Welcome to Engrish.com!

Publice Toilet 
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Wednesday, February 25, 2004
  Just so Floozy Charlotte doesn't feel left out, here's a pic of her too. dozy 
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  Here in Thailand there are a few things I really miss about life in the UK. One of the more obscure ones is that I miss the righteous indignation of the Daily Mail. Can't stand the ridiculous right wing claptrap it spouts of course, but it's just one of those things one scoffs at before reaching for the Guardian or Independant.
Anyway for your entertainment this is the daily mail-o-matic. I thank you. 
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  Now I like this, but then again I'm someone who likes boring people with my photos. It's kind of a flash-based chatroom and realtime picture sharing service. It's still in beta and important things such as the ability to save pics to harddrive are thus far absent, but definately worth watching, and it's fun to play with. Check out Flickr! 
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  Just got to give a shout out to my man Big C, one of the few lads at this school who is actually quite funny. The guy's name stems from one particular class where I was elliciting things in English that the students associated with England. After the predictable Man Uniteds, and Britney Spears(?), I suddenly heard a deep male voice shout out....... BIG COCK Apparently he meant Big Ben, but the damage had been done. I was crying with laughter and so were his classmates, who had quickly figured out what he said. One of this semester's comedy highlights. Big C 
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  Well, I dunno what happened to picture bucket, but I found a really cute replacement for it.
UPL is a very nice, simple, and quick to set up, upload service. Only 4 meg but hey it's free. Just to give it the blog test here's a pic of my colleagues Jane and Aaron running a game of charades at our school's recent festival.

SFB and Slippery Rick UPDATE. Just took the link down....UPL has vanished. 
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  Yay, here's today's strangely coloured animal.



BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Polar bears turn green in Singapore 
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  The ultimate place for teachers looking for work in Thailand, or if you're not looking to work as a teacher in Thailand a good place to argue with jaded ex-pats.
Ajarn.com - living and teaching in Bangkok 
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Tuesday, February 24, 2004
  I cannot rate this site highly enough. Enough surreal phoshop tat (or is that art?) to keep your desktop unsettling forever.
Worth 1000.....they gave me 10 credits for me birthday too 
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  Oh Christ on a bike! Looks like the Thai obsession with NW English Football teams is going a bit far. Waiing scousers is the odd picture that just popped into my mind
Thaksin eyeing Liverpool, says Thai national coach

 
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  Sodding exam week is very very dull. So much so that I got really into this Psychology textbook on perception. Interesting stuff. Makes me wish I'd followed all those intense people at college who were into analysing you, and done a course in it. This shot taken from Mars Odyssey

 
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LDMA is: A Brit, 28, married and living by the sea in Southern Thailand. A TEFL chalkie working for a highschool. Addicted to chillies.

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